Bill Dykes (billzbub) wrote in bzbbible,
Bill Dykes

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Grocery stores.

It seems like every grocery store I go to now wants me to join their Super Duper Monster Savers Club. So I have to fill out some form with way too much personal information on it just so I can save .15 cents on a package of Rice a Roni. And it isn't like, just because I am a member of their club, that this is going to instill some sort of grocery store loyalty in me. Flying my Winn Dixie gang signs, ya heard! Piggly Wiggly in da hizzy.
What I am going to do, since I am a cheap bastard, is fill out one of these stupid applications for every store I shop at.
So now, every grocery store in town (and some in towns I frequent ) have my information on file. My supermarket dossier.
And with all the handy little keychain cards they give you, my keyring looks like some mini-Chinese fan...pull it out and whip it open like drag queen with a tiny fetish.
*whips out key-fan*
Now, besides the obvious marketing possibilities...because I don't get enough circulars and spam in my various information boxes...what ELSE are they doing with this information?
Compiling a shopping profile?
Tracking my sad life and the purchases which define it?
Like the amount of alcohol I purchase...late at night. Accompanied by single serving food items.
Or the fact that the last time I bought condoms was a long, long time ago?
I don't know if I like this sort of information in the hands of the grocery cartels.
I'm pretty sure I saw the cashier at the Sav a Center judging me...
And are they selling these lists?
Is it merely a COINCIDENCE that I get more junk mail for health clubs, hospitals and singles groups?
And let's not forget the Department of Homeland Security..
Invoking the Patriot Act...
"It seems he purchased kitty litter, bleach, benedryl and thumbtacks. We'll need to bring this one in for questioning..."
All for .10 cents off Hot Pockets.
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